Get Out! - The Events Column

We wanted to share some events and activities that list members might be interested in. Have a great weekend -- and week beyond, too. If you know of an event that should be in next week's column, email us at events @ fastmail.us.

Bill Adler and Peggy Robin
Publishers, All Life Is Local
Cleveland Park Listserv
www.cleveland-park.com 

Friday, May 24 at 4 PM, Creature Feature - The Rock Creek Nature Center is holding a live animal feeding demonstration. Assist a ranger in feeding the Nature Center's live animals and learn about park wildlife. Free. At the Rock Creek Park Nature Center, 5200 Glover Road NW. More info: http://www.nps.gov/rocr/planyourvisit/events.htm

Saturday, May 25 at 11 AM, Walking Tour of Woodley Park and the Washington National Cathedral grounds. Tickets $15 in cash without a reservation or go to http://washingtonwalks.com/tours/saturday-afternoons.shtml. Meet outside the Woodley Park-Zoo Metro Station, rain or shine.

Saturday, May 25 from 1 - 3 PM, "What Is the Role of Reason in Human Affairs?" Discussion at the Tenley-Friendship Library, 4450 Wisconsin Avenue NW. Free, presented by Cafe Philo DC. More info at http://bit.ly/188Wn0a

Sunday, May 26 at 2 PM, Tour of the Gargoyles of the National Cathedral. At Massachusetts & Wisconsin Avenues. Tickets $5 - $10 at www.nationalcathedral.org/visit/gargoyle.shtml.

Tuesday, May 28 at 12:30 PM, Book discussion, Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Stout. Free. At the West End Library, 1101 24th St. NW, more info at http://www.dclibrary.org/node/35594

Tuesday, May 28 from 7 - 10 PM, Auditions for the Cathedral Choral Society. Free, but appointments required. At Massachusetts & Wisconsin Avenues. More info at www.cathedralchoralsociety.org/Auditions.html

Tuesday, May 28, 6 - 7 PM, Take Your Cat for a Walk Evening. Dogs get all the fun, but cats like going out, too. If you've ever wondered what it's like to walk a cat, you're in for a treat. If you've ever been concerned about your cat being terrified being on a leash outdoors, you need not worry: Your cat will be in good company with dozens of other cats. We'll meet at Columbia Road and 18th Street and walk around for about an hour. Everyone who has a cat is invited. If you don't have a cat, you're not invited and that's a good thing because this is the weekly fake event.

Wednesday, May 29 at 7 PM, Author Naomi Schaefer Riley discusses her book "'Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage Is Transforming America." Tickets, $10. At Sixth & I Historic Synagogue. For tickets and more info go to http://sixthandi.org/EventDetails.aspx?evntID=1073

Wednesday, May 29 at 7:30 PM, The Austrian Cultural Forum presents Gita Kaufman's film Shadows from My Past, about the filmmaker's return to Vienna, which she had fled as a child during the Nazi occupation. The filmmaker will be present to discuss her film afterward. Free. Reservations required - go to www.eventbrite.com/event/6125464429. At the Embassy of Austria, 3524 International Court NW.

Real Talk With Rachel: The Friend Who Crash-Landed

by Rachel Kurzius

Dear Rachel,

Recently, my friend asked me if she could crash at my house for a bit. I thought it would be fine -- fun, in fact! So I said yes after checking with my roommates to make sure that they were okay with it too.

Fast forward: it’s one day past when my friend said she’d be out. It's nice to have her around, but truth be told, I'm looking forward to having my space and routine back. I keep gently prodding, asking her things like, "Where are you thinking you're going to move on to?" and "What's your plan?" She doesn't really seem to have one.

I'm starting to resent the situation a little. I feel like I shouldn't have to ask these questions -- she should just know that she asked to stay for only so much time and now it's over. Time to move on. I feel like kind of a jerk for thinking this because she is my friend, I did say yes to having her, and aside from not having my place and routine to myself as it normally is, it's not a huge deal that she's there.

But part of it too is that I know that her circumstances for staying here aren't really dire. Like, at all. She's looking for an apartment right now, but in the meantime, she does have plenty of other options—including her nearby parents who are happy to have her stay, except they live in the suburbs (totally accessible by metro).

I set myself a deadline and if she's still here by then, it's gonna get awkward when I tell her straight up to go.

Am I a jerk? Any advice for this conversation?

Sincerely yours,

Homebody Interrupted

Dear Homebody Interrupted,

There are situations in which I might consider you heartless for telling your friend to leave, especially seeing as she is merely inconveniencing your routine. Those situations include your friend dealing with intolerant parents, just breaking up with her live-in fiancé, having her roommate suffer a psychotic breakdown, or getting mugged in her old place and feeling too unsafe to return, among others.

But let’s see why your friend is taking up residence at your place: she wants to be big city living. Right? I mean, where did she live before she started crashing with you? It sounds like she’s been with her parents in the ‘burbs and craves closer proximity to the action.

I don’t blame your friend for wanting those city lights. But she can’t depend on you for them.

I’ve lived with folks who have slept on sofas for months on end. Some people are totally fine living in someone’s living room and some people love offering theirs up. If it works for all involved, then that’s great.

It sounds like it works for your friend. But it’s not for everyone.

You’re not a jerk just because you cherish your space (unless, of course, you’re in one one of the situations discussed earlier). You will probably become a jerk if you don’t talk to your friend about your frustrations soon. They will only increase over time. You’ve tried to hint that she’s overstayed your welcome, but you’re going to need to be more direct.

The best way to do this is, first of all, by not feeling too bad about it. Don’t let your friend’s attitude about living room living make you feel like a square. You don’t have to be ashamed. Just be matter-of-fact. Tell her how fun it’s been to have her, but that she’s got to find another couch to squat on.

You don't need to go into too much detail. After all, as you said, she has options. And she can still come crash on the weekends sometimes if she doesn’t find a place in city proper.

All my best,

Rachel

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Rachel Kurzius revels in giving advice, and has provided counsel both as a columnist and a friend. She lives in Washington DC, where she works as a news producer. Real Talk with Rachel is published on All Life is Local and the Cleveland Park Listserv, www.cleveland-park.com, on Wednesdays. Need advice? You can write to Rachel via http://bit.ly/realtalkwithrachel or advice @ fastmail.net.

Tech Colulmn: Have Fun With Kickstarter

Baked By Yael Kickstarter Campaign

by Bill Adler

Let's say you have $50 to spend. What should you spend it on?

You could buy fifty 99-cent smartphone apps. That would keep you entertained for a while. You could by a couple of hardcover books, and as an author, I'm always in favor of that. You could fill up your car with gas, if you want to be practical. You could buy your dog some new toys.

Or you could have fun on Kickstarter, www.kickstarter.com. Kickstarer is a way for entrepreneurs to fund projects and businesses. Getting seed money to be able to write and publish a graphic novel, produce an inflatable bed that doesn't need power or a pump to inflate, or design and put into production a folding lunch box that folds out into a placemat --all actual Kickstarter projects-- is hard. Just about the only way to get seed money is to beg family members, and then beg them again.

But through Kickstarter, you can reach out to the world. If people think your idea has merit, or might be fun, then they can support the development and production of the next great thing: a self-cleaning fish tank or an affordable 3D printer, also actual Kickstarter projects.

The entrepreneur gets funding, but what does the funder get?  A funder does not a piece of the pie, but you often get a big discount on whatever it is that you're investing in, and you get it before stores do. You also get a lot of satisfaction in knowing that you've helped bring a product of service into being. It's a blast to see something you've helped create actually happen.

I've funded several Kickstarter projects including the famed Pebble watch (the first really smart smartwatch), the Hex Flashlight (a programmable flashlight), several music CDs, and a book.

I'm excited that Cleveland Park's own Yael Krigman, a.k.a. Baked by Yael, has a Kickstarter project, http://kck.st/10joD8L . How often do you get a chance to help create a cakepoppery? And right in Washington, DC, too. If you've ever said to yourself, "I wish there was an XYX store in Washington," now's your chance to put those thoughts into action. Funders get get a variety of benefits, depending on your funding level, including a basket of cakepops, a cakepop party, and assorted cakepops. When you walk into Yael Krigman's cakepoppery for the very first time, I guarantee that you'll wear two smiles: One smile because of all the smiles and sights of the colorful cakepops, and one smile because you had a hand in making this store possible. Hop over to http://kck.st/10joD8L and invest any amount from $15 to $1,000 to spread cakepop sweetness over Washington, DC.

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Bill Adler is the co-publisher of the Cleveland Park Listserv, www.cleveland-park.com. He is the author of "Boys and Their Toys: Understanding Men by Understanding Their Relationship with Gadgets," http://amzn.to/rspOft. He tweets at @billadler.

Still Life With Robin: Paper or Virtual? The Hard Card Decision

SomeEcards.com 

by Peggy Robin

Spring is birthday season in my family, and these days, with a birthday celebrant just as likely to live in a far-flung corner of the globe as nearby, that means I will be sending a card, rather than giving one in person and watching the celebrant blow out the candles on a real cake.

The question is: to snail-mail a paper card or pick-and-click a virtual one? There are things to be said for and against each way. If you can't be there to hand over the card in person, it shows that a certain amount of thought and effort went into the process when you've gone to a cardshop and picked something out, put it in an envelope, hand addressed and stamped it, and trusted the US Postal Service to deliver it to the person's mailbox on time. The recipient can (or should) imagine you standing for long periods of time in the aisle of the cardshop, opening vast quantities of paper cards, until you finally decided upon what you deemed to be the best choice for the birthday boy or girl. You searched for one that's funny and maybe a little bit edgy, but not insultingly so -- just right for the recipient's offbeat sense of humor. It's tricky, sometimes to know what's appropriate.

On the other hand, by just the nature of this process you have contributed to the waste of trees (even if it says "made with 100% recycled paper," there's still the envelope) as well as the fractional cost of the gas used in the shopping expedition and the postal vehicles involved in delivery. E-cards are certainly eco-friendlier.

On the *other* other hand, the birthday person knows far less time --and no money-- went into sending an ecard. Some people are offended by the thought that all you did was gaze at a few choices on a website, type in an email address, and click your mouse a few times. You can arrgue all you like that you put just as much thought into finding this particular e-message one that wasn't too offensive, or too smarmy, or too much of a cliche, just as you would with a paper card. But you know, and the recipient knows, too: it's not the same. Browsing the web is faster and easier. You never leave the comfort of your padded swivel desk chair.

Still, you can always make an e-card more personal by choosing one from someplace that lets you insert a photo or record your own greetings. Here are a trio of sites that let you do that:

* Jib-Jab: http://www.jibjab.com/birthdays - Some of the funniest cards are on this site. I have to admit I do like their Socrates, the talking sock puppet.

* E-Greetings: http://www.egreetings.com/birthday?path=2454681& - Very easy to navigate this huge card site. You can even browse by tone: funny, heartfelt, cute, traditional, or risque.

* Blue Mountain: http://www.bluemountain.com/ecards/birthday . On this site take a look at the talking e-cards. Type in your greeting and then choose a voice/accent to deliver the message.

But my favorite is Some ECards, http://www.someecards.com/ . Warning, this site is not for everyone. Some of the humor is well, on the raw side. But for people who like the offbeat, you can find some of the off-beaten-est things here.

For some special occasions, though, a handmade card is still the best and only right choice. I think today is one of those birthdays. It's my mother's 90th.  Happy Birthday, Mom!

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Still Life With Robin is published on Saturdays on the Cleveland Park Listserv, www.cleveland-park.com and on All Life Is Local.

Get Out! - The Events Column

We wanted to share some events and activities that list members might be interested in. Have a great weekend -- and week beyond, too. If you know of an event that should be in next week's column, email us at events @ fastmail.us.

Bill Adler and Peggy Robin

Publishers, All Life Is Local

Cleveland Park Listserv

www.cleveland-park.com 

Friday, May 17 from 5 - 7:30 PM, Fillmore West Arts Center hosts the 8th annual student art show featuring works by the students of Key, Marie Reed, Hyde-Addison, Ross, and Stoddert elementary school. The Fillmore West Arts Center is at 1819 35th Street NW.

Friday, May 17 from 11 AM - 7 PM and Saturday, May 18 from 8 AM - 2 PM, New to You - Huge Yard Sale & High End Boutique. Clothing, jewelry, furniture, linens, books, kids? clothing, toys, sporting goods, tools, housewares and more. Great shopping - cash only. St. Columba's Church, 4201 Albemarle Street NW in Tenleytown.

Saturday, May 18 from 9 - 11:30 AM, Ward 3 Animal Health Fair put on by the DC Department of Health, offering free vaccinations, dog licenses, emergency preparedness tips, ask a veterinarian, information about animal laws. All dogs must be on leash and cats in a carrier, accompanied by an adult (human). $15 for dog license if spayed or neutered, $50 if not, maximum four pets per owner.  At the Newark Street Dog Park, 39th & Newark St. NW. More info at http://1.usa.gov/ZMKYer

Saturday, May 18 from roughly 9 AM - 2 PM, The Mother of All Yard Sales, including approximately 50 homes centered around Biltmore Street and Lanier Place offering to sell you their crazy mix of treasures. We're socially responsible -- respected 20009 nonprofit Martha's Table will be sending a truck around to every participating sale to pick up qualifying unsold items to help build quality homes for those going through tough times. Similarly, participating sellers will be donating a percentage of their sales to beloved local nonprofits like Jubilee Jumpstart, Sitar Arts Center, Miriam's Kitchen, and others.  Plus, it's the 21st Century yard sale, so it's not just a tag sale, it's a hashtag sale: #motherofallyardsales . Get started at 1791 Lanier Place, one of the headquarters of TMAYS.

Saturday, May 18 from 10 AM - 6 PM, The 4th annual Gaithersburg Book Festival, featuring more than 100 authors reading and signing books, interactive writing workshops, presentations by poets and singers, literary wares, children?s activities, and more. Admission, parking, and handicapped accessible shuttle buses, all free. Visit www.gaithersburgbookfestival.org for schedules of author appearances, performances, and more.

Saturday, May 18 from 11 AM - 3 PM, The Maret Fete, featuring arts & crafts, moonbounce, carnival games, music, cakewalk, vendors, flea market, book sale, home baked goods, multi-national foods, and more. Free and open to the community. At Maret School, 3000 Cathedral Avenue NW.

Saturday, May 18, 2 - 4 PM, Dictionary Reading, Tenleytown Library. Join us for the exciting evening as we start to read the American Heritage Dictionary together. This will be even more fun than a reading of James Joyce's Ulysses, as we journey from A to Z. We expect that the reading will take 25 weeks, but it will be held every Saturday at 2 PM until we're done. Or you could just look up the words you need, because this is the weekly fake event.

Sunday, May 19 from 2 - 5 PM, From Gloom to Bloom - the Shepherd Park Citizens Association holds its annual garden tour through gardens in Shepherd Park, Colonial Village and North Portal Estates. Each garden is unique in its presentation of flowers, shrubs, trees, yard art, water features, hardscapes and landscapes. The tour is self-guided tour to allow visitors to view the gardens at their leisure during the allotted tour hours. Tickets, $15 per person available on the day of the tour at the ticket kiosk in front of Shepherd Elementary School, 14th St & Kalmia Rd NW starting at 1:30 PM. For more information go to http://www.shepherdpark.org/garden.html

Sunday, May 19 at 3 PM, Art Lecture, "Michelangelo's David-Apollo: an offer he couldn't refuse," National Gallery of Art curator, Alison Luchs will discuss the David-Apollo statue from Florence recently exhibited at the National Gallery, at the Friendship Heights Village Center, 4433 South Park Ave., Chevy Chase, MD. Free. Nearest Metro stop: Friendship Heights on Red Line. More info: 202-364-2526 or email joegrano@netzero.com.

Sunday, May 19, Washington National Cathedral 20s and 30s Group's Evensong and Evensocial. Evensong: 4 PM in the Great Choir of the Washington National Cathedral Evensocial: 5 PM at the Francis Sayre House on the grounds of the Washington National Cathedral, Massachusetts and Wisconsin Avenues, NW. Free but please rsvp to 20sand30s@cathedralcongregation.org; more information at http://www.nationalcathedral.org/worship/congregation20s30s.shtml

Sunday, May 19 at 3 PM, Concert by the talented Estonian musician Ingrid Lukas who is visiting Washington, DC for the first time. Free admission and free parking. At the Katzen Arts Center at American University, 4400 Massachusetts Avenue NW.  More information at the website of the Embassy of Estonia: http://www.estemb.org/ and on Ingrid Lukas' website: http://www.ingridlukas.com/konzerte/index_en.php

Monday, May 13 at 4 PM, Bach's "Magnificat" at Chevy Chase Presbyterian Church in the Sanctuary. The Chevy Chase Chancel Choir and orchestra will present the featured work on this program, J.S. Bach's Magnificat, a master work for five soloists, five-part choir, and orchestra, plus arias from cantata 137, 82, St. John Passion and Easter Oratorio. Julie Vidrick Evans, Director of Music at CCPC, will also present Sinfonia to Cantata 169 on the organ. Admission is free and open to all; donations accepted to support future concerts. Following the concert, there will be a reception to meet the artists. At the Chevy Chase Presbyterian Church, One Chevy Chase Circle NW

Tuesday, May 21 from 4:30 - 8 PM, Taste of Adams Morgan, a culinary adventure benefiting Mary's Center, www.maryscenter.org. Purchase tasting tickets and stroll through Adams Morgan enjoying some of the best dishes DC has to offer. Tickets at http://bit.ly/TasteofAdamsMorgan, 4 for $20 or 7 for $30. See the tasting map at http://www.maryscenter.org/sites/default/files/tasting%20map.pdf

Tuesday, May 21 at 7:30 PM, The Cleveland Park Historical Society holds its annual meeting, with featured speaker Roger K. Lewis, "Shaping the City" columnist for The Washington Post and regular guest on The Kojo Nnamdi Show. Lewis will explore the nature, purpose, and value of urban design and architectural design guidelines in cities and suburbs, for both existing and new development. The meeting is free and open to all CPHS members but anyone may join CPHS in advance of the meeting. Registration is required to attend: go to ClevelandParkHistoricalSociety.org. Location: The Tregaron Mansion at the Washington International School, 3100 Macomb Street NW. Plenty of parking is available. We will gather in Davies Hall, inside the front doors of the Mansion and down the hall to the right. Refreshments and a brief business meeting at 7:30 followed by Roger Lewis's talk at 8:00.

     

Wednesday, May 22 at 2 PM, Carolyn Morrow Long discusses her book Madame Lalaurie, Mistress of the Haunted House, about the life and legend of a 19th Century New Orleans society matron and the house her ghost is believed to possess. Free. At the Tenley-Friendship Library, 4450 Wisconsin Avenue NW, http://www.dclibrary.org/node/30246

Real Talk With Rachel: Sticky Web Dating

by Rachel Kurzius

Hello all,

Hope that you’re savoring the sticky humidity of this evening. There’s a lot more where that came from!

Last column, a letter-writer asked me what to do about complaining in-laws. It seemed like anything the family did or did not do dissatisfied these folks. While the constant litany of comments irritated the husband, who wrote the letter, his wife (the daughter of the complainers) felt truly hurt by them.

I told “On the Outs” that the world is full of negative people, and while we can brush many of them off, some of the most negative are either our family, or the family of our loved ones. I told him to ignore the ridiculous comments his in-laws made and I suggested he get his wife to talk to her parents.

Some readers thought that I added to the negativity swirling around. One reader responded by saying, “Your reply to 'On the Outs with the In-laws' was appalling. You added your venom to the conflict... Instead of calming the man, to create a peaceful conversation and find a more relaxed solution, you added your personal venom...You called the parents who gave birth, love and raised the woman that he loves "these people reared her," referred to them as ‘windbags’ who are ‘spewing negativity’ and ‘garbage grumbling’.”

I explained to the reader that I wanted "On the Outs" to know that he should trust his instincts -- his house is great, his kids are great. All of these wonderful accomplishments, which would otherwise satisfy him, were somehow diminished by his in-laws comments. That’s why negativity is so poisonous!

Perhaps I could have fought off the negativity with sheer optimism. But I wanted to validate this guy’s frustration. These weren’t harmless comments that slipped out of the in-laws’ mouths every once in a while. This was a clear pattern of verbal abuse. Far too often I speak to people who continue to let their families, and the families of their loved ones, trample all over them, simply because they're family. At a certain point, it has to end.

It’s just the beginning for us, though, reader. On to this week’s question.

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Dear Rachel,

My friend is a guy in his mid-twenties. He is always talking about how he wants a girlfriend. He just showed me a dating site that really grossed me out. He gets to look at a photo of a girl and then, based only on the picture, clicks “yes” or “no.” If he and the girl both say “yes” to each other’s photo, then they get to message each other.

To me, this is why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He is superficial and this dating site he signed up for proves it. When I’ve told him that he needs to care about more than just looks if he wants a real relationship, he seems to roll his eyes. I don’t want to keep hearing him complaining about not having a girlfriend when it’s so obvious why he doesn’t. What do I do?

Putting the Super in Superficial


Dear Putting the Super in Superficial,

The main thing you can do is take that part of your brain that whirs and whistles constantly with judgement, and turn down the volume.

To me, this dating website doesn’t say anything conclusively about your friend, except that he is trying to be proactive about finding a girlfriend. After all, is evaluating a photograph on a dating website really that different from deciding whether or not to approach someone in a bar based on looks? Both of them involve a level of the superficial, sure, but also speak to a larger, more important aspect of a working relationship. You’ve got to like the way the other person looks.

Whether you like it or not, attraction often begins with the physical. That doesn’t necessarily make it superficial. Think about how you might respond to a photo of a potential mate. What do you evaluate? The features, yes, but you can glean more than that. The facial expression could show whether someone is goofy or comfortable with herself. Is the photo at a road race or on a mountaintop? The staging of the photo itself can clue you in to a person’s interests.

It’s not everything, of course. It’s just a photo. But your friend isn’t proposing when he says “yes” to a photo. He’s just indicating that he would potentially be interested in meeting the person in the photo for lunch or a drink, so long as she also says “yes.” Seems pretty harmless to me.

The bigger question is why this is your problem, Putting the Super in Superficial. I’ve got to ask -- do you wish your friend would get off of that dating site and look at what’s right in front of him? I can’t discern your gender from your letter, but if you are a woman, then perhaps you should tell your friend how you feel.

Maybe I read the letter wrong, though, and this isn’t secretly about your own feelings for your friend. In that case, remember this: we just don’t know what other people want in a significant other. It’s hard enough to figure out one’s own preferences and problems, let alone figure out why are others are struggling in the land of love. So instead of feeling so exasperated by your friend’s frustrations, just relax. Perhaps a glass of wine will help.

All my best,
Rachel

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Rachel Kurzius revels in giving advice, and has provided counsel both as a columnist and a friend. She lives in Washington DC, where she works as a news producer. Real Talk with Rachel is published on All Life is Local and the Cleveland Park Listserv, www.cleveland-park.com, on Wednesdays. Need advice? You can write to Rachel via http://bit.ly/realtalkwithrachel or advice @ fastmail.net.

Tech Column: Where in the World Is That Picture From?

by Bill Adler

I was going to write about something useful this week -- you know, like how to prevent your computer from crashing or how to sell your laptop for more than you paid. But then by chance I found out about a geography-related Internet activity, which reminded me that technology is at its best when it is used for fun.

Enter Rando, http://rando.ustwo.se/. Available on Android and iOS, Rando is simple and addictive. You take a photo and that photo is sent to somebody at random somewhere in the world. After you send a photo, you receive a random photo. The photos are marked with the location of where it was taken, but there's no other identifying information included in your photo. Rando is safely anonymous.

When your photo's been received, you get a message telling you that somebody in Seoul, Korea or Cartagena, Columbia received your photo (two destinations that have viewed my recent photos) or that your photo has been delivered to some destination unknown.

You do get weird, unexpected pictures, varying wildly in both quality and content. I was sent a picture of somebody's cat from Dublin, Ireland, a picture of what looks like people chilling in an apartment in Tel Aviv, and a photo of what's on television in Belo Horizonte, Brazil. I've also received pictures of people's feet and kitchen appliances.

Rando is the opposite of social networking sites like Facebook and Flickr because you have no idea who sent you the picture. You'll never know from whom that picture came, and the people who get your photos will never know who you are. You won't be judged and you won't be able to "like" or comment on a photo. Photos are gifts to strangers that come with no strings attached.

There's mystery behind every photo you receive, send, and anticipate sending. What kind of person sent that photo of a train station? What kind of restaurant was that dinner photo taken at? What will the person who receives the photo I just took of a traffic jam in Washington, DC think? You never know and you never will.

But once you start receiving photos it's hard to stop sending them. You want to see what arrives next. Okay, gotta go. I just received a photo from the Czech Republic that I want to look at.

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Bill Adler is the co-publisher of the Cleveland Park Listserv, www.cleveland-park.com. He is the author of "Boys and Their Toys: Understanding Men by Understanding Their Relationship with Gadgets," http://amzn.to/rspOft. He tweets at @billadler.

Fire Breathing Toaster: Your Greatest Fear Is Real

by Bill Adler

It's not being out of toilet paper in a public restroom, because you check before you seal the door.

It's not taking a date out for dinner and having your credit card declined, because you were wise enough to bring cash, just in case.

It's not renting a car and getting billed for $1,500 four months later for damage, because you took pictures of the rental car first.

It's not even coming to the office one day and being fired, because it rarely happens unexpectedly.

No, your greatest fear is very real and true: Everyone else can do captchas on the first go-round. It's just you who is dazed and stunned by them, as if somebody thrust a Cyrillic crossword puzzle in front of you and told you, "solve this in a minute or die."

Those letters mixed in with random ink smudges; those letters that look like they were written by somebody in the middle of an earthquake; those letters that pretend that they're numbers -- they're simple to interpret. An r is an r and and e's an e. What's the problem? The are-you-a-human? captcha test is easy as pie for everyone else. Even people who are learning English find it easy. Even cats find it easy. It's just you.

But you can take comfort in the fact that there's something that you do well, even if you fail at captchas. You can open a soda can without liquid spraying all over. You can accurately program your DVR to record shows. You can remember where you put your keys all the time.

So please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed just because everyone else can solve captchas in less time than it takes to hit the snooze button on an alarm clock, but you can't.

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Bill Adler is the co-publisher of the Cleveland Park Listserv, www.cleveland-park.com. He is the author of "Boys and Their Toys: Understanding Men by Understanding Their Relationship with Gadgets," http://amzn.to/rspOft and "Outwitting Squirrels," http://amzn.to/VXuLBh. He tweets at @billadler. Fire Breathing Toaster is published on Mondays.

Still Life With Robin: Play "Guess the Age" by the Phone Message

by Peggy Robin

Yesterday I had three voicemail messages to return from three different callers, who each wanted me to respond with requested information via a different method. Even if I had never previously had contact with any of the three, I would have been able to tell the approximate age of the caller just from her preference in my form of response. Of course, there were also clues in the pitch and quality of the voice, but I think from the content alone it would be easy for anyone to score 3 out of 3 on this guessing game, without any audio hints.

First caller: "You don't need to call me back, just text the information to 571-709-XXXX."

Second caller: "You don't need to call me back, just send me an email with the information. I'm at Firstname underscore Lastname at AOL.com."

Third caller: ""Please call me back. My number is 363-XXXX."

You know, of course, that the first caller is young, most likely under 30, and possibly under 25.  You would guess (and you would be correct) that this person does not even have a land line. Although she lives in DC, she does not have and may never have a 202 number. She's had the same cell phone number all her young life. And she will probably have that number wherever she lives for the rest of her life. Texting is the normal way for her to receive any brief bit of information. It may also be her preferred way of chatting with her friends. When it comes to cell phone use, she texts far more often than the talks.

The second caller's age is harder to pin down: she's neither old nor young but somewhere in the middle, or more precisely, late-middle of the age spectrum. She's had that AOL account since the early 1990s, when AOL mailed her (along with everyone else in the US who had a permanent or semi-permanent address) that first free disk. It took her a while to get used this means of communication, but by the late 2000s she had become a great and frequent emailer, feeling comfortable and secure with her long and permanent record of saved emails of all her correspondence. While others around her have long ago ditched AOL for trendier domains like Gmail or faster networks like Verizon, she's remained loyal or at least stuck with it out recognition that at her age, it's a hassle to switch.

The third caller is old, most likely over 80. She's old enough to have lived the great part of her life in The Age of 7 Digit Dialing. Though The Age of 10 Digit Dialing crept in on her sometime in the late 1980s, when parts of New York City that used to be 212 were assigned the area code 914 and it first became necessary for some New Yorkers to use 10 digits to dial other New Yorkers, this caller did not feel the need to adjust her own perception of what constitutes a phone number. Then came the 1990s and suddenly parts of suburban Maryland went from 301 to 240. That hit closer to home, but it still did not affect this caller's own, long-practiced and melodious recital of her 7-digit home number. If you should happen to inquire why she does not preface the number with the area code, she will answer this way: "I had to change the way I said the number when they went to all-number calling back in the 1960s. It used to be EMerson 3-XXXX. I loved that number -- it had poetry. I don't need to make any other changes. I have lived in Washington, DC all my life and everyone knows the area code is 202."

I got back to all three, each one as she preferred -- even though it's somewhat alien to me to reply by text as I did to the first caller, and I did have to think twice about the area code before returning the third person's call. I suppose that tells you where I fit into into my own schema.

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Still Life With Robin is published on Saturdays on the Cleveland Park Listserv, www.cleveland-park.com, and on All Life Is Local.

Get Out! The Events Column

We wanted to share some events and activities that list members might be interested in. Have a great weekend -- and week beyond, too. If you know of an event that should be in next week's column, email us at events @ fastmail.us.

Bill Adler and Peggy Robin
Publishers, All Life Is Local
Cleveland Park Listserv
www.cleveland-park.com 

Photo by Thomas S. Mann

Friday, May 10 at 11 AM, Breakfast with Mommy in the Garden, outdoor Mother's Day program with story time and muffins, best for ages 2 - 5. Free. At the Georgetown Library, 3260 R Street NW. More info at http://www.dclibrary.org/node/35425

Saturday, May 11 from 9 AM - 3 PM, In honor of International Migratory Bird Day, the National Park Service and the Smithsonian Migratory Bird Center are co-hosting a migration celebration, welcoming back the millions of migratory birds that spent the winter in Latin America. This free, family-friendly event features guided bird hikes, bird banding demonstrations, live birds of prey, some fun & educational games & crafts for kids, interactive exhibits by conservation organizations, live music and Latin American dance performances, and a bird-themed planetarium show. At the Rock Creek Park Nature Center. For more information visit: http://nationalzoo.si.edu/scbi/migratorybirds/education/birdfest.cfm

Saturday, May 11, from 10 AM to 12 Noon, The National Capital Area Mac Users Group is holding its next meeting. The main topic is: Build Your Own Website - Or Are There Better Alternatives? NCA-MUG Exec Committee member Paul Suh compares practical alternatives like Linkedin, Wordpress, Google+, Facebook, or Yahoo Groups to creating and maintaining a web site. Free. All are welcome. The NCA-MUG meets at the Cleveland Park Public Library, Connecticut and Macomb Streets NW. More info at www.nca-mug.org.

Saturday, May 11 at 10 AM, The Friends of the Tenley-Friendship Library will present an Ikebana demonstration with Ikebana master Jane Redmon, making some remarkable flower arrangements. The event is free. Bring your camera! The Tenley-Friendship Library is on the corner of Wisconsin Avenue and Albemarle Street.

Saturday, May 11, 12 Noon - 5 PM, The 9th Annual Gateway Arts District Open Studio Tour, featuring 17 venues, 70 studios, over 130 artists. This highly popular event showcases professional artists representing nearly every visual arts medium. You'll have access to art galleries, studios, cultural centers and performing spaces throughout the Prince George's County Gateway Arts District. Tour begins at Gateway Arts Center, 3901 Rhode Island Ave., Brentwood, MD. A free shuttle bus, with limited seating, is available to transport art enthusiasts to these locations, with some studios within walking distance. After the Studio Tour, there's the Gateway Arts Center Opening Reception & After Party from 5:30 - 8 PM, featuring artists from 39th Street Gallery & Brentwood Arts Exchange. For more information, visit www.gatewayopenstudios.org or call 301.864.3860.

Saturday, May 11, from 1 - 2 PM "Bouncing Back: Creatively Dealing with Stress and Adversity," a free lecture/workshop series on reducing stress and increasing wellbeing and life satisfaction led by psychotherapist/art therapist and workshop facilitator Rebecca Wilkinson of Creative Wellbeing Workshops. Designed for people experiencing stress, chronic illness, low energy, and/or burnout. Free and open to the public. At the Georgetown Public Library, 3260 R Street, NW. To register email rebecca @ creativewellbeingworkshops.com or call 202-352-5225 or just show up.

Saturday, May 11 at 1:30 PM, Discussion of Anthony Grooms's book "Bombingham" with speakers who have firsthand knowledge of the events of the civil rights movement in 1963. Free. At the Cleveland Park Library, Connecticut Avenue & Macomb Street NW. For more info go to http://www.dclibrary.org/node/35324

Saturday, May 11 at 2 PM, The Know Your Neighborhood program series presents a walking tour of the Mount Pleasant neighborhood with author and historian Mara Cherkasky, who will point out buildings and sites that date to Mount Pleasant's days as a country village and an early streetcar suburb, and along the way, provide an overview of the neighborhood's history. Meet on the steps of the old main entrance to the corner of 16th Street and Lamont Street, NW.

Sunday, May 12 at 5:30 AM, Cicada Watch. Come meet at the Nature Center in Rock Creek Park to watch the first cicadas emerge at dawn. If you've never seen this before, it's a sight to behold: Tens of thousands of cicadas emerging from the earth! Or you could just stay in bed like a normal person, because this is the weekly fake event.

Monday, May 13 at 12 Noon: To mark Jewish American Heritage Month, the Library of Congress will present a talk by documentary filmmaker Aviva Kempner, featuring clips from the newly expanded 2-disc DVD edition of her 2001 Peabody Award-winning film, The Life and Times of Hank Greenberg. Kempner's film depicts how America's first Jewish baseball star helped break down the barriers of discrimination in American sports and society and became a beacon of hope to American Jews who faced bigotry during the Depression and World War II. Free and open to all. Location: the Mary Pickford Theater, 3rd floor of the James Madison Building at 101 Independence Avenue SE. More information at http://www.loc.gov/today/pr/2013/13-071.html      

Tuesday, May 14 at 1 PM, Pulitzer prize winning literary critic Jonathan Yardley will discuss his book Second Reading at the next meeting of the History Book Club at the Chevy Chase Library. Free and open to all. More info at http://www.dclibrary.org/node/35151

Tuesday, May 14 at 5 PM, Experts on elder law and tax law discuss estate planning, a free program presented by the Palisdades Village. Free. At Palisades Library, 4901 V Street NW.

Tuesday, May 14 from 6 - 8 PM, Rock-Paper-Scissors Tournament, a benefit for the DC chapter of Playworks. Compete against Redskins players! Tickets: $15 - $20. At Penn Social, 801 E Street NW. For more information and tickets visit:
http://www.playworks.org/make-recess-count/play/dc/compete-against-washington-redskins

Wednesday, May 15, concert by the American University Chamber Singers, "The Art of Tradition: Choral Music of Russia and the United States." Tickets $7 - $20. At the Hillwood Estate Museum and Gardens, 4155 Linnean Avenue NW, http://bit.ly/173Z82w

Tech Column: A Tech Tip About Tech Tips

by Bill Adler

I recently read a tip about using the built-in mail app on the iPhone. You can disable the feature that automatically includes images when you get mail.

Not having images automatically downloaded with your iPhone or iPad mail can save bandwidth and money. It can also prevent spammers from telling if they've gotten a live person because images can contain beacons that send a confirming message back to the spammer.

So I did that. It makes sense to me to turn off auto-image download.

Fast forward three months. Although I usually use Gmail's iPhone mail app, occasionally I check my email with the native iPhone app. Months from now when I do that I'm going to start swearing at my phone because the image that was supposed to be in the message "Here's my new cute kitten!" isn't visible. I will have forgotten that I turned off this setting.

I'll restart the mail app. I'll restart it again. I'll turn off cellular data and then turn it back on. I'll powercycle my iPhone. Rinse, lather, repeat.

Eventually I might remember that three months ago I turned off the setting that allows Mail to download embedded images. Oh.

So today, after changing that setting on my iPhone, I created a calendar entry called "Today I turned off auto-image download on iPhone mail." In that calendar entry I included a link to the article that I read about this, in case I needed more information.  Now all I need to do is search my calendar for "iphone mail image" and I'll find out exactly what it was that I did that caused the problem, and not endlessly try to troubleshoot my iPhone.

I've started doing this for all application tweaks I make: I note in my calendar the day I made the change and what I did.

I could have put this information in Evernote, my everything note program (and I did, in fact, clip the article and add it to Evernote), but having the information in Evernote doesn't automatically tell me what I did and when. By using my calendar as a tech diary I have an accurate accounting of changes I've made to my programs, devices, and operating systems. If I decide to reverse the process and restore my iPhone's mail app's ability to automatically download images, I'll note that in a new calendar entry.

Give this a try: I guarantee that once you start to use a tech-diary calendar, you'll be a happier and wiser technology consumer.

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Bill Adler is the co-publisher of the Cleveland Park Listserv, www.cleveland-park.com. He is the author of "Boys and Their Toys: Understanding Men by Understanding Their Relationship with Gadgets," http://amzn.to/rspOft. He tweets at @billadler.