Still Life with Robin: Name That Neighborhood!

Photo by Dave Wilson (licensed by Creative Commons)

by Peggy Robin

Of course, you’ve heard by now that Amazon’s Headquarters 2 will be split between New York and DC, and the part we’re getting is not actually in DC but in nearby Northern Virginia, in a neighborhood split between Crystal City and Pentagon City. Which Amazon is renaming National Landing. 

I wish I were first off the block to make fun of the made-up corporate/neighborhood naming process. But Greater Greater Washington kicked off the scoff-fest last week with this suitably snarky article --

https://ggwash.org/view/69847/forget-crystal-city-amazon-is-coming-national-landing-we-have-some-thoughts -- and the reader comments that flowed underneath were even snarkier. In admiration, I must pass along the best of the mocking bunch:

David Edmonson says,

Because National Landing is less of a cheesy name than Crystal City?

Also the place used to be called Waterloo, so go back to that if anything. Jeez.

Agnès Artemel says,

I hope it will be Soft Landing, and not Landing with a Bang

Some had ideas for new names.

Aaron Landry

@s4xton

“National Landing”?! If they're going to rename Crystal City, why not:

Bezos Beach?

Arlington Prime?

Alexatown?#HQ2Names

My favorite of the above is Arlington Prime!

Other comment-posters wondered, after National Landing is established, what related developments will follow:

Martin Austermuhle

@maustermuhle

How quickly do we get North National Landing and National Landing Heights?

Dan Reed suggested:

The Landing at National Landing: for those with discerning taste

Gray Kimbrough says,

The nearby waterfront will be called National Landing Harbor. It's not to be confused with the boat docking at National Harbor, National Harbor Landing.

Now for my own contributions to the “Name That Neighborhood!” game:

How about combining Crystal City and Pentagon City, to create “Crystal Pentagon”? Then perhaps in the same way that people have shortened North-of-Massachusetts to NoMa, people would shorten “Crystal Pentagon” to “CrysPen.” Or even shorter: “CryPen.” But the shortest would be: “CryPe.” 

Now here’s an even better idea! You know how we got Shirlington from a mash-up of Shirley Highway (the actual name of that portion of I-395) and Arlington? Let’s mash-up Amazon and Arlington to create: AMAZINGTON!

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Still Life with Robin is published on the Cleveland Park Listserv and on All Life Is Local on Saturdays.