Dear Kelli,
I’m not sure, but I believe the teacher at my daughter’s school doesn’t like her. I’ve seen my daughter’s work and it’s up to par, yet this teacher is still grading her poorly. How can I tell if I’m being overprotective or this teacher really isn’t being fair?
Signed,
Teacher Out for My Girl
Dear Teacher Out for My Girl,
I believe the best way to get to the root of the issue is to have a teacher-parent conference. I’d avoid any defensive or blame statements (e.g., “Why do you hate my daughter?”) and try your best to keep your tone objective. You could say something like this: “I feel my daughter is doing the best she can and I’ve seen her work. Can we review the reasons she's getting poor grades?” You may get a detailed explanation that will allow you to help your daughter improve, and in the best outcome, you may see a change in your daughter’s grading. If nothing is changing and you still feel the problem is with the teacher attitude, then I'd say this is something you need to discuss with the principal.
All the best,
Kelli
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Dear Kelli,
I take the Metro every day to work. Since I take the same route, I often see the same people. There is this creepy guy who keeps staring at me. I’m not frightened he’ll do anything but he just makes me feel so uncomfortable. I’ve told him a few times to stop staring but it hasn’t helped. Any advice?
Signed,
Creepy Man Staring
I believe the best way to get to the root of the issue is to have a teacher-parent conference. I’d avoid any defensive or blame statements (e.g., “Why do you hate my daughter?”) and try your best to keep your tone objective. You could say something like this: “I feel my daughter is doing the best she can and I’ve seen her work. Can we review the reasons she's getting poor grades?” You may get a detailed explanation that will allow you to help your daughter improve, and in the best outcome, you may see a change in your daughter’s grading. If nothing is changing and you still feel the problem is with the teacher attitude, then I'd say this is something you need to discuss with the principal.
All the best,
Kelli
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Dear Kelli,
I take the Metro every day to work. Since I take the same route, I often see the same people. There is this creepy guy who keeps staring at me. I’m not frightened he’ll do anything but he just makes me feel so uncomfortable. I’ve told him a few times to stop staring but it hasn’t helped. Any advice?
Signed,
Creepy Man Staring
Dear Creepy Man Staring,
I’ll give you the same advice my mom told me in fifth grade when a boy kept taunting me: Ignore it. I know that can be hard, but it’s effective. The more you stare back or say something, the more gratified he is that he's successfully baited you. Ignore him, and he will eventually realize he is getting no response from you, which should cause him to lose interest and seek out someone else to annoy.
I’ll give you the same advice my mom told me in fifth grade when a boy kept taunting me: Ignore it. I know that can be hard, but it’s effective. The more you stare back or say something, the more gratified he is that he's successfully baited you. Ignore him, and he will eventually realize he is getting no response from you, which should cause him to lose interest and seek out someone else to annoy.
If you’re completely fed up,then I'd advise going in to work earlier or taking an alternative route if possible.
However, if you do feel that his actions are becoming more worrisome (he’s following you, has made threatening comments, or anything along those lines), then you should bring this matter to the police.
All the best,
Kelli
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Dear Kelli,
I’ve been in a relationship with a man for a few months. He’s great -- intelligent and kind -- and he treats me really well. I was initially drawn to him because of his quirky sense of humor. But I’m afraid he's gone too far. He’s sent me pictures of his poop (yes, seriously) and will fart loudly on the phone and crack up. This man is not a teenager, he’s in his thirties! Do I end it?
Signed,
Do I Dump Over Poop Picture?
Dear Do I Dump,
Okay, the good news is that you have a guy who’s intelligent, kind, and feels super comfortable with you. The bad news is that you have a guy who has an odd sense of humor and is very immature. This is a tough situation. If he’s really a great guy and care enough for you, then maybe he will tone things down if you told him the crudity is turning you off. As odd as it sounds, he may be trying to impress you, or think you’re “cool” enough to be okay with this sort of thing. It may be a compliment, in a weird way. So I wouldn’t cut off the relationship just yet.
However, if you think even a toned-down version of his humor is too gross for you, then go ahead and end it now. He’s got a weird sense of humor and I’m not sure how much he’ll be able to change his nature. It's up to you to decide if you can take him the way he is.
All the best,
Kelli
All the best,
Kelli
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Kelli Miller, MSW is a therapist, author, and radio personality. Miller was a featured expert for SIRIUS Satellite Radio Channel 198, the co-host for the TV show Love and Money: The Advice Show, and the advice columnist for Playboy U, and the author of Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband. Ask Kelli is published on All Life is Local and the Cleveland Park Listserv on Wednesdays.
Kelli welcomes your comments below. Have a question? You can write to Kelli at advice (at) fastmail (dot) net or via Twitter @askkelli.Your name and email address will be kept confidential.
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