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| Photo credit: 4028mdk09 via Creative Commons |
by Peggy Robin
Wouldn’t you know that the day scheduled for my spring A/C
maintenance check, it would be 35 degrees out, and it wouldn’t feel so hot
(hah!) to have blasts of cold air coming out of the vents? This was on
Wednesday. Something told me we’d been in this situation before, and all it
took was a quick search of my digital calendar to find it. Yep, on the date of
the last fall HVAC maintenance check, to make sure that the system was up to
the task for the coming heating season, it happened to be 78 degrees out. And
so we had to turn the thermostat way, way up to make sure the system worked.
This just proves that Murphy’s Law and all its hundreds of
corollaries work just as everyone says they do. (For the best source of
Murphy’s Law+variations and related phenomena, go to: http://murphyslaws.net/)
From the AC on at 35 on Wednesday, to today, however, I seem
to be in a veritable Murphy’s Law perpetual motion machine.
On Thursday I was in line at the grocery store and noticed
that this particular checkout seemed to be at a standstill. I looked around at
all the other lines, mentally counting up the number of customers in each line
times the estimated number of items in their baskets, I selected the likeliest
to progress quickly, and moved over to that lane. I already knew from many past
experiences that checkout line-switching is a fine way to watch Murphy’s Law in
action. Of course things moved quickly in the new line…at first. But then, as
the cashier got to the man right in front of me (basket containing about 15
items), this customer pulled from his pocket a handful of coupons. Eight,
perhaps ten! My brain was berating me for my sexist assumptions – no, no, MEN
don’t use coupons; I purposely avoid lines with OLDER WOMEN because I believe
in my heart that they are the ones slowing things down with their thrifty,
coupon-wielding, line-delaying ways. By the time I had absorbed the reality
that I was stuck behind a male multi-coupon bearer, I heard the cashier utter
those dreaded words: “I can call the manager.” Apparently, one of the coupons
was no good. Expired maybe. Or presented for the wrong product. I had already
unloaded my cart onto the conveyer belt; still, I glanced around desperately at
all the other lines, now all considerably longer than before. I even looked at
the self-checkout registers. Lines there, too. And past experience with
self-checkout had already taught me that the possibilities for failure of a DIY
checkout are equal to or slightly greater than the number of products to be
rung up. And then you have to wait for a manager to bail you out. Well, I was
already waiting for a manager. So I hung on in the same line. Eventually I made
it home with the groceries.
Then came Friday, and I was using those groceries to cook a
big dinner for some out-of-town relatives. Here comes the Hat Trick of the
Murphy’s Law series. I am halfway through the recipe, using the ingredients I
bought the day before, when I realize I forgot to get one crucial item, without
which the cooking must come to a halt -- I can go no further. I’ve got to go
back to the store and get that one thing. No, not the same store as the day
before. It’s Friday at rush hour, and the lines there will be insanely long. However,
I have a much smaller store within walking distance. It will be a quick dash
down the block to buy the thing I need, and all will be well. And that’s when
the primary dictum of Murphy’s Law of the Kitchen kicks in: “If a dish depends
upon a single ingredient, that’s the one you will discover you are out of.” And
its corollary, “…and that’s the one that you will find out-of-stock in the
store.”
All was not lost. I used my smartphone to Google other,
similar recipes for an acceptable substitute, which the store did have on hand,
and went home to create an edible meal. If, to quote another popular saying,
“bad things come in threes,” I guess I’m done with this run. To quote one more
old saw, “It could always be worse!” And with that in mind, I’m grateful for small
snafus.
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Still Life with Robin is published on the Cleveland ParkListserv and on All Life Is Local on Saturdays.
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