Still Life With Robin: The Rap on Metro

by Peggy Robin

Ever since I began this column on February 26, 2010 I have had in mind to expound (which, as you probably know, means complain -- or for those who think I complain too much -- whine) on the inadequacies of our Metro system:  unexplained delays, eight-month elevator reconstructions, ridiculously long station names, impenetrable map clutter, dead escalators unintelligible announcements, etc., etc. But I kept holding off on tackling the subject, worried that once I got started, I wouldn’t know where to stop. Today I realized I don’t have to say anything. Every point I have in mind has already been set down on YouTube, and done to a catchy rap beat. The video is just three and a half minutes long, and I can’t think of a single thing to add to it.

Watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=xkjfh5klUzM

I do have a recommendation for something to do with this video. I would like to lock all the members of the Metro board into a room and make them watch this video 25 times in a row. No, not in a room, in an unairconditioned Metro car in July, stuck in the middle of an airless tunnel. Of course, we'd need to download it beforehand, because it's unlikely that there would be a working wifi connection in the tunnel.

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Still Life With Robin is published on the Cleveland Park Listserv and All Life Is Local on Fridays.

Changes (Real and Made-Up) to Metro Station Names

The Washington Post's local website "The Buzz" has a very funny article about what could happen if Metro sold the naming rights to its stations. Among the readers' suggestions so far:

Farragut North Face
iMac Pherson Square
Woodley Park Zoo-Adams Morgan Stanley

and our personal favorite:

U St/African Am Civil War Memorial/Cardozo/Bens Chili Bowl/CVS/Rite Aid/Busboys&Poets

And while we're on the subject of phenomenally long Metro station names, the Metro Board has just announced that it will be changing a few station names...and not to make them shorter. King Street will get "Old Town" added to its name; Navy Yard will get "Ballpark" tacked on; and New York Avenue will get turned into NoMa-Gallaudet U (okay, that last one goes from 13 letters to 14 letters, only plus-one, but it still has morphed from a single street designation into a neighborhood-plus-university designation. Many other stations will get a subtitle in smaller lettering underneath the main station moniker. Dana Hedgpeth of the Washington Post reports on all the details here -- and you can also see the newly unveiled Metro map.

Stations Closed

And now a message from Metro. (But don't worry, this photo, which was taken at the Farragut North Metro station, is from several days ago.)

Poll: Do You Support or Oppose Random Bag Searches in Metro?

The police will be conducting random bag searches at Metro stations.  Do you think that these screenings enhance security or are simply security theater?

Here is Metro's announcement:

The inspections are expected to take only minutes and are designed to be non-intrusive, as police will randomly select bags or packages to check for hazardous materials using ionization technology as well as K-9 units trained to detect explosive materials. Carry-on items will generally not be opened and physically inspected unless the equipment indicates a need for further inspection...Customers who encounter a baggage checkpoint at a station entrance may choose not to enter the station if they would prefer not to submit their carry-ons for inspection.

According to the Washington Post, the screenings will happen along these lines: 

The searches will take one or two minutes and will involve swabbing bags with special paper, which will be analyzed using a hand-held device that tests for explosives. A bag that tests positive will be double-checked by a bomb-sniffing dog. Only bags that test positive will be opened.

Passengers who refuse inspections will be allowed to leave the Metro station, but may be questioned. 

Metro's posted a video on YouTube about these bag checks, which you can view here.

Are random bag searches a good idea? Do they enhance security by deterring terrorists? And if they are a good idea, are they worth the inconvenience/civil liberties trade-off? On the one hand, some security specialists believe that the screenings have a deterrent effect; as Brian Michael Jenkins explained: "You put these into place because there's no question that these types of security measures do act as deterrent." (He's director of the Transportation Security Center at the Mineta Transportation Institute at San Jose State University.) On the other hand are the thousands of Metro riders who can see that there are dozens of Metro stations that will have no security. 

You can vote in All Life Is Local's poll.

Breaking News: Man Arrested in Metro Bomb Plot

by Lindsay Chastain

Farooque Ahmed, age 38, of Ashburn, VA, was arrested for plotting bombings in metro stations throughout the city, CNN reports. He was providing support and information with men he believed were members of al Qaeda. The Department of Justice has not yet released any additional details.

Additional information will be posted when we have it.

Metro Wants to Get You to the Army 10-Miler and to Shows at Arena Stage

Metro has had certainly had its ups and downs lately.  It's been down a lot on 3-day holiday weekends while trying to take care of its tracks and catch up on basic maintenance, while on the other hand, it's going out of its way to make it easy for people to take Metro to specific events. Here are two that Metro wants you to see: The first is the Army 10-Miler race on Sunday morning, and the second is a farecard/theater tickets deal for Arena Stage.  Interestingly, the Metro press release (below) notes that organizers of the race have paid for Metro's extra service, but is silent on the financial arrangements involved in the Arena Stage promotion.

Cleveland Park Metro Reopened After Suspicious Package Closed Station

The Cleveland Park Metro Station has reopened after being closed for a time this morning because of a suspicious package.  One eyewitness reported on Twitter: "Something fishy at cleveland park metro station. Cops everywhere at Conn Ave b/t Ordway and Porter."

Getting around town is not easy today. In addition to traffic delays, two Metro buses collided in Silver Spring.

Is it News? Gray Campaign Blasts Metro For Using Fenty's Voice

City Council Chair Vincent Gray condemned "as cheating" Metro's decision to use Mayor Adrien Fenty's voice for recorded Metro announcements. "This is patently unfair, and the Metro board should never have approved the change," Gray said in a news conference this morning. "People are going to hear Fenty say 'doors closing' multiple times day, and that gives Fenty an unfair and possibly illegal advantage. It's free political advertising."

An obviously furious and determined Gray declared, "This is a dangerous precedent. From the schools to streetcars and now Metro, the mayor always gets his way." Gray wagged his finger as he said, "He's not going to get away with this."

WMATA Spam Problem Fixed

The Washington Metropolitan Transit Area Authority has fixed its spam problem. Commuters who subscribe to WMATA's email alerts received fradulent messages containing links to a non-WMATA website. And if you clicked on that nefarious link, well, you can imagine what bad things might happen. (You can subscribe to the alerts through WMATA's website.) Here is the spam update from WMATA:

Metro has resolved a problem with its e-Alert notification system with some subscribers who received spam emails instead of service disruption reports from Metro since Sunday, August 29.

DC Is for Fireworks!

There are many disadvantages to living in DC: No vote in the House or Senate; getting delayed in traffic due to official motorcades, getting to understand the truth behind the phrase "a city of northern hospitality and southern efficiency"-- to name just three. Sometimes it's enough to make you want to pull up stakes and decamp for the country. But then the Fourth of July rolls around, and you realize you get one of the best fireworks shows in the country, absolutely free. If, like me, you are a true pyrotechnophile (okay, I just made that word up, but it sounds pretty good, doesn't it?) you want to get yourself seated as close as possible to the fenced-off "fallout zone" where the burst shell fragments and ashes descend. (That's a bit to the west of the Washington Monument, by the way.) But at the same time, you want to avoid being close to any trees that might impede a full view of the sky. This isn't a difficult trick, so there's no need to get there super early, unless you happen to enjoy sitting out in sweltering heat, having frisbee-playing kids run right over you, while you listen to has-been rock bands playing tired old retreads of their 60s hits. I like to get there no earlier than 8:30 -- even 9pm is not too late -- and it's never been so crowded that I've had any trouble spreading out my decently-sized ground cloth. The show gets going as soon as its dark enough, typically around 9:15, and to me, it's always been well worth the hassle of the trip.