Still Life With Robin: Stinkbugs and Broken Toilets

by Peggy Robin

Today I’m not going to wax philosophical (or dredge up that old vaudeville line about Phil’s reaction to being waxed) about abstract issues. Today’s the day for some practical advice. First, about stinkbugs. You’ve been reading about the stinkbug invasion, I trust -- or, like us, you actually have stinkbugs in your house.

The oft-repeated advice is to vacuum them up. That way you don’t crush them and release the awful stink that gives them their name. But why haul out your heavy vacuum cleaner? A Dustbuster is better but it’s not ideal. I have just the thing for stinkbugs, and it’s equally good for wasps, yellow jackets, spiders, beetles, centipedes -- virtually anything that crawls or flies that you don’t want inside your house. It’s a bug gun. It’s light but powerful, with a telescoping tube that quickly and easily extends to normal ceiling height. It’s simple to use and will soon have you sucking up bugs on the wall or the floor; it will even let you whoosh up a fly in midair. I’m not good with weaponry, but I’m a crack shot with this baby. When there’s a bug on the loose somewhere, instead of squeamishly shrinking from the task as I used to do, now I grab my bug gun from its charging stand and off I go after it like Rambo. No, that’s too low-tech an image: The long neon blue reach of the bug gun’s tube and the futuristic handle make you feel like you’re Luke Skywalker with a light saber. And like a light saber, it “vanishes” its target in a clean, bloodless way.