Dear Kelli,
I really love my job. The problem is this guy who sits near me. He won’t stop talking to me! I mean all the time! Not only am I having a problem getting my work done but I have no interest in anything he talks about. I don’t want to be rude or talk to Human Resources; I just want to nip this in the bud myself. Any advice?
Signed,
Shut Up!
Dear Shut Up!
You know those big Bose headphones? Invest in a pair. After you keep saying, “What?” every time your co-worker talks to you, he’ll eventually get the hint. Even if you don’t listen to music, you can "pretend."
If that still doesn’t work, then unfortunately it’s time to talk to HR about moving your cubicle location.
All the best,
Kelli
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Dear Kelli,
I feel like I’m utterly obsessed with nutrition. Not only calorie counts but fat, protein, trans fats, nutrition labels, etc. I obsess over everything that goes in my mouth and it has to be super healthy. Even a normal protein bar doesn’t seem healthy enough. I’m not anorexic --I’m a healthy weight-- and I don’t throw my food up. In all honestly I do eat normally but it’s just that I can’t stop thinking about how healthy or unhealthy a food is. What do you think is going on?
Signed,
Food Obsessed
Dear Food Obsessed,
It sounds to me as if you could have something called orthorexia nervosa. This is a disorder in which people develop a fixation with healthy or righteous eating. This is a serious disorder. It may sound benign (what could be wrong with focusing on eating healthy?) but it can become an addiction and make one’s life completely unmanageable (not to mention making some completely malnourished).
I absolutely urge you to talk to an eating disorder therapist. My fear is that if not treated, it will only get worse. If you need help finding a specialist, please let me know and I can guide you.
All the best,
Kelli
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Dear Kelli,
I got my neighbors a gift for Christmas and left it by their door. It’s been a week and I still haven’t heard anything from them. No thank you, no acknowledgement. I know they are not away (they've waved at us while collecting the trash). Do I say something? Assume they got it? Assume they didn’t get it?
Signed,
Give Me a Sign
Dear Give me a Sign,
I wouldn’t say anything for another week or so. Assuming your neighbors did get the gift, perhaps they had a lot going on this week and have not yet gotten around to thanking you. Understandable.
Now if in another week you don’t hear anything you can simply say, “Hey Bob. A little while back I left a gift for you and your family at your door. I just want to make sure Santa didn’t steal it and you did receive it.” I think that’s classy without screaming, "Where's my thank-you, neighbor?"
All the best,
Kelli
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Kelli Miller, MSW is a therapist, author, and radio personality. Miller was a featured expert for SIRIUS Satellite Radio Channel 198, the co-host for the TV show Love and Money: The Advice Show, and the advice columnist for Playboy U, and the author of Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband. Ask Kelli is published on All Life is Local and the Cleveland Park Listserv on Wednesdays.
Kelli welcomes your comments below. Have a question? You can write to Kelli at advice (at) fastmail (dot) net or via Twitter @askkelli.Your name and email address will be kept confidential.
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