Dear Kelli,
I have absolutely no fashion taste. It’s just never been my thing. I have two events coming up and I need help. One is for a luncheon and the other is cocktail attire. I know I can ask the salepeople but they also put me in things I’ve just not comfortable wearing. I’m more conservative. Any thoughts?
Signed,
Non-Fashionista
Dear Non-Fashionista,
Part of looking good is feeling good, so I think you're wise to want to feel comfortable. I’d start by looking in fashion magazines or catalogues to get an idea of your style. You can find a variety of fashion magazines at the magazine section of Barnes and Noble and buy one or two with clothing that catches your eye. Cut out the pages that have dresses, outfits, or styles you like.
Next I’d suggest you begin by looking at the more conservative stores. Ann Taylor might be a good choice for you; Also consider The Limited, Coldwater Creek, Chico's, Lands End, and Nordstrom's. I’d skip the teeny-bopper stores because the skirts there tend to be shorter and and the tops more revealing.
And I wouldn’t give up on salespeople. You might just have to be clearer about where your boundaries are (e.g., "I don’t feel comfortable wearing anything strapless," or "I don’t want a dress with a hemline above the knee.”) The more information you can give to the sales help, the easier it will be for them to find something tailored to your taste. I’d also suggest bringing along the magazine pages showing styles you like.
Finally, don’t be afraid of accessories! A necklace or earrings can add a nice flair and dress up your outfits. A good salesperson can also help you with this.
All the best,
Kelli
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Dear Kelli,
Every time I go out to a function it seems people are snapping photos left and right. If that isn’t bad enough, they will post them online for the world to see. I’m just not comfortable with this but I'm wondering if I have a right to say something.
Signed,
Not Camera Friendly
Dear Not Camera Friendly,
Hmm…I understand your concern. I believe you certainly have a right to say something, but when it comes to more than a few people snapping photos at a party, I’m not sure you’ll always be able to keep track of who posts what.
So my best suggestion would be to say something to the people you notice taking pictures of you, along the lines of “I don’t mind your taking photos but do you mind not posting them on the internet? I’m more of a private person.”
With this approach, you accept that you won’t be able to control every snap and click of the camera (or cyber-post), but at the same time you have made your feelings clear and have told people what you need them to do to respect your privacy.
All the best,
Kelli
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Dear Kelli,
My boyfriend of two years is a meat eater and I’m a vegetarian. I’m done trying to convert him (I realize it’s a lost cause), but I feel it’s hard to find someplace to go out for dinner where we both can enjoy a meal. Any suggestions?
Signed,
Herbivore/Carnivore Dilemma
Dear Herbivore/Carnivore Dilemma,
What about Asian food (Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Indian, etc.)? Asian cuisines tend to offer more choices for vegetarians and meat eaters. You can happily feast on the tofu and veggie options while your boyfriend can have his meat entrees.
The nice thing about being a vegetarian today is that most restaurants have at least one entrée that is strictly vegetarian. If you don't like the vegetarian choice, you can always choose an entrée minus the meat. If you see absolutely nothing you find appealing, don’t be afraid to speak up. Depending on the restaurant, the chef may be willing to prepare something for you that isn't on the regular menu (but it might be a good idea to check the restaurant's menu online first. Some restaurant menus say "No substitutions or special orders.")
My final suggestion is use Yelp or MenuPix to find restaurants that are highly rated by vegetarians and meat eaters alike.
All the best,
Kelli
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Kelli Miller, MSW is a therapist, author, and radio personality. Miller was a featured expert for SIRIUS Satellite Radio Channel 198, the co-host for the TV show Love and Money: The Advice Show, and the advice columnist for Playboy U, and the author of Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband. Ask Kelli is published on All Life is Local and the Cleveland Park Listserv on Wednesdays.
Kelli welcomes your comments below. Have a question? You can write to Kelli at advice (at) fastmail (dot) net or via Twitter @askkelli.Your name and email address will be kept confidential.
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