by Peggy Robin
I call your attention to the following article in the July issue of Washingtonian magazine:
"What’s the Deal With These Goofy DC Building Names?
Apartment monikers can be ridiculous."
It's a short article - won''t take long to read it in full at this link:
The premier example in the article is the new high-rise in Arlington, dubbed "The Wendy" -- no, not after the beloved fictional character who undertakes to make a cozy home for Peter Pan and the Lost Boys in Neverland (that would be both a nice literary reference and an evocation of motherly love) --- but after the fast food joint, Wendy's, that used to sit on that site, dishing out burgers and fries. Although it was bulldozed away, its name stuck around and got repurposed to be something to call the building. So instead of saying, "Let's grab a bite at Wendy's, it's "come on over to my place for a bite - I live at Wendy's." Oh, but that's not quite it. It's "THE Wendy" now. Not an improvement..
I am happy to report there doesn't seem to be any such silliness going on around here...yet. There are new apartment building going up or slated to go up all over Northwest DC, and so far none seems to have fallen prey to SBNS (Silly-Building-Name Syndrome).
We have the upper-crusty "Upton Place" in the works, joining the stately "City Ridge." I have no complaints about either one.
You will find so many of our large, older buildings setting the standard for dignified names. Just pronounce them aloud and you will hear what I mean: The Broadmoor. The Parkway. Quebec House. Macomb House. Cleveland Terrace. Then there are those Gardens -- Tilden, Sedgwick, Ordway, and McLean. All very sedate -- well, cultivated -- and redolent of roses. Who wouldn't want to live in a garden?
Even grander is Cathedral Mansions (rather grander-sounding than looking, I concede). Same for Woodley Park Towers, which is not exactly towering in real life. But it still has a fine ring to it, despite the rather modest height.
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| Image: Library of Congress |
Well, enough of the past. Let's get back to The Wendy and its ilk. Here's my worry. You know that one-story McDonald's at the corner of Van Ness and Wisconsin? There's no reason to suppose that site will remain a fast-food outlet. A buildable lot like that must surely be slated to be the home of some future multi-story luxury condominium. I happen to agree with the new urbanists who think it would serve a lot of progressive and environmental goals to get rid of a squat little fast-food place that sits in the middle of an asphalt parking lot, and get maximal residential use from the site, with a hefty set-aside for affordable but family-sized units.
I would just like to propose one condition on any potential developer of the site: You just can't name it "The McDonald.." Same goes for The McDee." Or any other variant on a fast food theme. So that rules out "Golden Arches Tower" and even "The Ronald" -- or, for a building that's both tall and wide, "The Big Mac."
Do I need to tell you what would happen if that last one came to pass? The next developer to come down the pike would unveil plans for a super-sized, complementary building on the adjacent lot, by asking the question, "You want "The Fries" with that?"
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Still Life with Robin is published on the Cleveland Park Listserv and on All Life Is Local on Saturdays.
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