Is It News? Pet Hotel and Brothel Coming to Cleveland Park

Photo by Michele Walters

A San Francisco Pet Hotel company, Day 'n' Night Pet Hotels, is going to be moving into the space currently occupied by the McDonald's on Connecticut Avenue and Newark Street.  As far as I can tell, unlike restaurants, there's no zoning against a pet hotel.  (But the pet hotel will apparently have a restaurant for pets and this may be an issue -- more about that when I have more information.)

Not that a pet hotel is a bad idea.  But Day 'n' Night Pet Hotels appears to be both a pet hotel and brothel.  That's pretty clear from reading their website:

Day 'n' Night Pet Hotels offers more than just a refuge for your pampered cat or dog for when you're away. We know that you, the pet owner, are discriminating about where you board your precious canine or feline, which is why Day 'n' Night Pet Hotels offers unparalleled fun for your pet in the way of selective and supervised dating.
 
Pets start out with their favorite meal (just tell us what it is and we'll have a fresh can or bag on hand.) Then our guests spend the next half hour or so playing together with a fabulous array of toys developed just for Day 'n' Night Pet Hotels. Following that is a little snack and some water (and a walk if needed), after which your pet gets to enjoy a night out.

While you're away, not only will you have a great time, but your pet will, too. Many of our customers tell us that their dog or cat had such a terrific time that they send their pets back again and again.

Our pet food is 100 percent made in the USA, inspected and taste-tested by our veterinary team.
 
And, of course, we provide all pets with pre-date birth control, so that you don't have any surprises at home months later.
 
We welcome gay pets, too, and pair those pets appropriately.

I hope that the pet hotel is sound-proof! Late night noise could really become a problem for people who live near the former McDonald's.

Which brings me back to beginning of this column: Does anyone know if this violates the zoning cap for restaurants? It seems to me that the pet hotel also has a restaurant for animals, and as far as my reading of the zoning regulations goes, there's nothing that exempts a pet restaurant from that cap. A restaurant's a restaurant, right -- even if it's part of a so-called pet hotel? Has anyone had any experience with Day 'n' Night Pet Hotels in San Francisco or elsewhere?

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Is It News? by Bill Adler is All Life Is Local's humor column.  The Pet Brothel column was originally published on the Cleveland Park Listserv as an April Fool's joke.