Expressing One's Love

I'm a big fan of the website, DamnYouAutocorrect. Why? Because I recently sent my daughter 10 pairs of chopsticks at college. I did that because she texted the request to me, and it was a fairly easy request to fulfill. It was only after my daughter called, quite perplexed, that we both realized that she had meant to text chapsticks. (College in Boston necessitates a chapstick in every pocket.)

If you're feeling any holiday blues --or simply want to laugh-- hop over to DamnYouAutocorrect and be prepared to laugh so hard that you cry.

Election 2010: DC's Fringe Candidates

It arrived as a nondescript piece of mail. But inside the District of Columbia's Voter Guide is something more interesting than I could ever have imagined. Some of the lesser-known candidates for various offices, from Delegate to the House of Representatives to Mayor are fodder for The Colbert Report; others are so extreme as to make Tea Party candidates seem like mild  decaffeinated tea. There's certainly no lack of diversity of opinion on the November 2 ballot. Here are some excerpts from the DC Voter's Guide.

I am here for my babies kidnapped by kat sabilous department of social services and the department of children and family services in Hollywood, ca. I am Queen GIVE ME BACK MY KIDS Noble, I have 994 trillion law suit active in the us supreme here in dc against this government currently aiding and abetting smith’s kidnapping of my kids in this stolen country. Prima Facie discovery Evidence is proof of target victimization for life and robbed of my family. -Queen Noble, candidate for Delegate to the House of Representatives, H.E.R.O.S.H.E.R.O. Party 

I believe the purpose of elected office -represent the people who elected you! Not pawns/puppets of special groups/ friends. I am determined: Make DC government -of the people, by the people, for the people” -bringing REAL transparency. My cabinet will have members: democrats, republicans, private and government. -Carols Allen, candidate for Mayor, Independent 

As working people and youth in the District are coming to understand we are living in the opening stages of capitalist depression and social crisis. We need to break with the capitalist parties and organize a labor party based on fighting unions to fight for full employment, and end to police brutality, low cost housing, and real education. In the final analysis working people will have to organize a mass revolutionary movement to take power out of the hands of the billionaires and replace it with our own state power. -Omari Musa, candidate for Mayor, Socialist Workers Party

I am a 28 year DC resident who lives in Ward 6...My wife Stacey and I have founded a nonprofit, ULTRA Teen Choice to provide abstinence centered HIV prevention for at-risk youth. I am for marriage between one man and one woman only; DC Voting Rights, including the right to vote on the definition of marriage; funding Youth Empowerment programs that teach youth to say no to sex before marriage, and no to drugs and alcohol and for an elected school board and removal of Chancellor Rhee. -Richard Urban, candidate for City Council at Large, Independent

Is It News? Colbert, Stewart Cancel DC Rallies Due to Bedbugs

This just in: Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have canceled their October 30th rallies in Washington, DC because of "the clear and present bedbug epidemic in the nation's capital." Speaking for both Comedy Central stars, Stephen Colbert said, "When I titled my rally March to Keep the Fear Alive, it certainly wasn't my intention to actually scare the pants off everyone by bringing them to bedbug central." Colbert added in an uncharacteristically somber tone, "I'm scared, too."

Bedbug incidents have been increasing in Washington, DC over the past weeks, with reports coming in of bedbug sightings in neighborhoods and even government buildings. "There's no hiding from this threat," Colbert said.

Arianna Huffington, who was going to provide free bus transportation from New York to Washington, agreed with Stewart and Colbert's decision: "It's not just the cost of having to de-bug the buses afterward, but it would be wrong to subject people to this scourge."

Bill O'Reilly, host of The O'Reilly Factor, said, "I always knew that deep down Stewart and especially Colbert were chicken. Glenn Beck brought in thousands and Colbert and Stewart are just yellow-bellied wimps, running for the hills."

Is It News? by Bill Adler is All Life Is Local's humor column.

Rome is Burning. Could DC Ever?

If you haven't seen Rome's Coliseum on fire, it's an incredible sight. Fortunately, it's also an art project designed by the dual team of Thyra Hilden from Denmark and Pio Diaz from Argentina. The project, which cost $700,000, was on display in Rome for one day last Saturday. It's an amazing illusion. The purpose of the project, according to the artists, was to highlight how fragile cultural artifacts are. I hope that one day somebody in Washington, DC has the same sense of artistic purpose to allow a national monument here to appear on fire.

Is It News? Pet Hotel and Brothel Coming to Cleveland Park

Photo by Michele Walters

A San Francisco Pet Hotel company, Day 'n' Night Pet Hotels, is going to be moving into the space currently occupied by the McDonald's on Connecticut Avenue and Newark Street.  As far as I can tell, unlike restaurants, there's no zoning against a pet hotel.  (But the pet hotel will apparently have a restaurant for pets and this may be an issue -- more about that when I have more information.)

Not that a pet hotel is a bad idea.  But Day 'n' Night Pet Hotels appears to be both a pet hotel and brothel.  That's pretty clear from reading their website:

100 Cats Let Loose in IKEA

There are experiments and then there are great experiments. The difference between a mere experiment and a truly awe-inspiring one is that the best experiments answer questions you didn't even know you had. That's certainly the case with this amazing video showing what happens when 100 cats roam freely in an IKEA. You thought you knew everything about cats. You were wrong. Watch.




Thanks to Gizmodo for spotting this.

How to Use an Escalator in DC

DCist alerts us to a wonderfully clever and amusing website, How to Use an Escalator in DC. If you're looking for a reason --any reason-- to spend a few more minutes at your computer so that you don't have to go outside into the oppressive heat, How to Use an Escalator in DC is as good a reason as any. Better than most other reasons, actually.

Oh, and it's not just tourists who don't know how to ride escalators. We all could use Escalator 101.

Is It News? Reno Road to Become a Toll Road

Starting October 1, Reno Road (also named 34th Street at the southern end) will become a toll road, the District of Columbia Department of Transportation announced today.

"We're turning Reno Road into a toll road for two main reasons," said William Wheat, DDOT's spokesperson. "First, this will reduce the amount of traffic on this major thoroughfare. If people have to pay to travel on Reno, they're going to drive less, making Reno less congested and safer. Second, this will also reduce the amount of traffic on Reno Road, enabling cars to move faster."