Election 2010: DC's Fringe Candidates

It arrived as a nondescript piece of mail. But inside the District of Columbia's Voter Guide is something more interesting than I could ever have imagined. Some of the lesser-known candidates for various offices, from Delegate to the House of Representatives to Mayor are fodder for The Colbert Report; others are so extreme as to make Tea Party candidates seem like mild  decaffeinated tea. There's certainly no lack of diversity of opinion on the November 2 ballot. Here are some excerpts from the DC Voter's Guide.

I am here for my babies kidnapped by kat sabilous department of social services and the department of children and family services in Hollywood, ca. I am Queen GIVE ME BACK MY KIDS Noble, I have 994 trillion law suit active in the us supreme here in dc against this government currently aiding and abetting smith’s kidnapping of my kids in this stolen country. Prima Facie discovery Evidence is proof of target victimization for life and robbed of my family. -Queen Noble, candidate for Delegate to the House of Representatives, H.E.R.O.S.H.E.R.O. Party 

I believe the purpose of elected office -represent the people who elected you! Not pawns/puppets of special groups/ friends. I am determined: Make DC government -of the people, by the people, for the people” -bringing REAL transparency. My cabinet will have members: democrats, republicans, private and government. -Carols Allen, candidate for Mayor, Independent 

As working people and youth in the District are coming to understand we are living in the opening stages of capitalist depression and social crisis. We need to break with the capitalist parties and organize a labor party based on fighting unions to fight for full employment, and end to police brutality, low cost housing, and real education. In the final analysis working people will have to organize a mass revolutionary movement to take power out of the hands of the billionaires and replace it with our own state power. -Omari Musa, candidate for Mayor, Socialist Workers Party

I am a 28 year DC resident who lives in Ward 6...My wife Stacey and I have founded a nonprofit, ULTRA Teen Choice to provide abstinence centered HIV prevention for at-risk youth. I am for marriage between one man and one woman only; DC Voting Rights, including the right to vote on the definition of marriage; funding Youth Empowerment programs that teach youth to say no to sex before marriage, and no to drugs and alcohol and for an elected school board and removal of Chancellor Rhee. -Richard Urban, candidate for City Council at Large, Independent