Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Is It News? Colbert, Stewart Cancel DC Rallies Due to Bedbugs

This just in: Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have canceled their October 30th rallies in Washington, DC because of "the clear and present bedbug epidemic in the nation's capital." Speaking for both Comedy Central stars, Stephen Colbert said, "When I titled my rally March to Keep the Fear Alive, it certainly wasn't my intention to actually scare the pants off everyone by bringing them to bedbug central." Colbert added in an uncharacteristically somber tone, "I'm scared, too."

Bedbug incidents 
have been increasing in Washington, DC over the past weeks, with reports coming in of bedbug sightings in neighborhoods and even government buildings. "There's no hiding from this threat," Colbert said.

Arianna Huffington, who was going to provide free bus transportation from New York to Washington, agreed with Stewart and Colbert's decision: "It's not just the cost of having to de-bug the buses afterward, but it would be wrong to subject people to this scourge."

Bill O'Reilly, host of The O'Reilly Factor, said, "I always knew that deep down Stewart and especially Colbert were chicken. Glenn Beck brought in thousands and Colbert and Stewart are just yellow-bellied wimps, running for the hills."

Is It News? by Bill Adler is All Life Is Local's humor column.


  1. The only sane and reasonable conclusion I can draw is that Beck's rally attendees precipitated our bedbug invasion. As O'Reilly notes, "Glenn Beck brought in thousands..."

  2. Where did you read that the rallies were canceled.?

  3. I think you need to check our sources...

  4. I just did a google news search and could not find anything about the rallies being canceled. Nothing about it on the Facebook site for it either.

  5. Very funny! You had me going till I got the the end where it said "humor column." Thanks for the laugh.