Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Ask Kelli: Serious About Art, About One-Night Stand, About Job Search

by Kelli Miller

Dear Kelli,

My 18-year-old son wants to go to art school. My husband and I always said we’d pay for his college but to me this feels worthless. Do I have the right to refuse funding this particular “education?”

Signed,
Not So Artsy


Dear Not So Artsy,

Sorry, I’m in disagreement with you here. You and your husband agreed you would fund his education, whatever that may be. Just because it isn’t what you envisioned doesn’t mean you can renege on the offer. If you think about it, going back on your offer is really saying you don’t respect your son’s choices or believe he’s capable.

So I say pay for his education because 1) You said you would and 2) It’s his chosen field of study.

All the best,
Kelli

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Dear Kelli,

I’m a male and I have fallen hard for a girl I had a one-night stand with. I think that to her it was just a one-night fling, but I am hoping to get more out of it. Any suggestions on how to let her know I’m serious?

Signed,
Not Just a One-Night Man


Dear Not Just a One-Night Man,

My first question for you is this: How do you know she doesn’t want more? Did she make that clear? If she did, I’d say, give it a few weeks, and then pursue her one more time, but try it this way:

Call her to set up a daytime date: a walk in the park, a visit to a museum, a walk around a lake, etc. That way she won't assume that you are just out to "score" again. Be open and honest about your approach: Tell her that even though you got physical quickly, you’d like to get to know her on an emotional level, and be willing to take it slow from here on out.

All the best,
Kelli

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Dear Kelli,

I’ve been looking for a job for a long long time. It seems like my resume just keeps getting lost in the shuffle. Could I be doing something wrong? Any tips on how to actually get a job instead of searching for one?

Signed,
Unemployed


Dear Unemployed,

You’re not alone. The economy is the pits right now, so you’re among many when you say you’re searching hard for a job.

Since it’s so hard to actually secure a job, do all you can to network. Find people you know in your field and ask for an informational interview. This way you will have half a foot in the door and make actual contact.

Make your cover letter really stand out. That is, make it funny and catchy, yet professional. A great book on this topic I found is here: http://amzn.to/yU07wm

Finally, hand-deliver your resumes and cover letters, and then follow up by a polite phone inquiry.

All the best,
Kelli

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Kelli Miller, MSW is a therapist, author, and radio personality. Miller was a featured expert for SIRIUS Satellite Radio Channel 198, the co-host for the TV show Love and Money: The Advice Show, and the advice columnist for Playboy U, and the author of Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband. Ask Kelli is published on All Life is Local and the Cleveland Park Listserv on Wednesdays. 

1 comment:

  1. To the parent whose son wants to go to art school: You can always ask him to apply to a college with a great art program. He can major in art. He might find that he does like art as much as he thinks or that he has other interests. There are several top liberal colleges with fantastic art programs and majors.

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